Over the years, I have been pleasantly surprised at the benefits of Financial Independence / Early Retirement (FIRE). I have also been amazed at how hard it is to convince my friends and relatives to try FIRE (much less adopt it)!
FIRE Reactions from Friends and Relatives
Financial Independence (FI) has worked wonders for me. Obviously, I wanted to share it with my friends and relatives, so they could also benefit.
Most friends / relatives either did not understand what I was doing or did not care much about it. Some listened politely but with mild disbelief. Others were concerned that I was having an early onset of mid-life crisis. Some others simply ignored it.
Being a bit naive at that point, I assumed they would eventually understand that FIRE was the best thing since sliced bread! I thought I just had to wait a little longer for them to figure it out. Needless to say, it has been a long wait!
After my abject failure to convince my friends / relatives, I started thinking about why they did not care about FIRE. Below are some explanations I came up with.
Why Friends / Relatives may not Care about FIRE
1. Lack of a Case for Change
Simply put, there may not be any need for someone to change. I undertook the FIRE journey because I wanted something different after a decade of professional life. But some people are happy with their professional life. They do not see any reason to stop working or even change how they work.
As long as they have a steady job, they do not need to worry about money.
For example, my cousin has a job she likes and has been doing it for more than two decades. She sees no reason to aim for FIRE. She intends to follow the traditional career path and retire in her 60s. And knowing how much she likes her job, this is a great option for her.
2. Different Priorities
Another reason that some of my friends/relatives are not interested in FIRE is that they have different life priorities. For example, one of my friends is really interested in excelling in his career. He is already the country head of a global company. The early retirement part of FIRE is not applicable for him, and the FI part is not relevant either.
Another of my friends is really into sports. He would much rather spend his time improving his game and playing rather than looking at his finances. And having been on the FIRE journey, I know it needs time and focus.
People have different values in life, and being financially independent may not be high on that list.
3. Lack of Relevance
FIRE may not even be relevant for someone. This may seem odd – who doesn’t care about money, right? Maybe everyone cares about money – but not to the extent that they are willing to get on the FIRE journey.
For example, I care about exercise. I know I should exercise regularly. But I do not.
The same may happen to people and FIRE. Although they know it is good, they may not want to do it.
One of my friends likes her life the way it is. That means spending a lot of time figuring out FIRE and making all the FIRE changes is not something she is interested in.
4. Not Frugal
Saving was the lever I leveraged the most on my FIRE journey. However, frugality and saving are not for everyone. Some of my friends like spending money and there is nothing wrong with that.
For example, someone may want to buy the latest Tesla (which I must say is a fantastic car). Someone may want to own a 5-bedroom house. There is nothing right or wrong with these choices. Everyone has their own set of values (implicit or explicit), and they make decisions per their values.
Telling them to settle for a 3-bedroom house instead of a 5-bedroom house would be like telling me to get to FI in my 50s rather than my 40s. I would not want to work till I am 55 to achieve FI. Neither should I expect someone to buy a 3-bedroom house if they want to buy a 5-bedroom one.
In Conclusion
I was initially surprised (and a bit sad) that my friends and relatives were not interested in FIRE. However, I think they all have legitimate reasons why they don’t want FIRE.
Interestingly, that is what makes it great – having friends and relatives who have different perspectives from you is a real blessing in life!
So now, instead of trying to persuade them to join the FIRE movement, I have changed my approach:
The best you can do is inform.
Do not try to persuade or, worse, preach!
Finer Manifesto
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